Night Terrors

My inner child comes out

and I revel in your pain.

You asked me to stay

lying next to you

even though

I begged to leave,

you said

you needed me.

I told you

I could stay if you asked

and you uttered the words

quickly and tiredly.

Now it's 12:30a and you

are wide awake

and I'm beating my head

against the wall because

I fucking let you terrorize me

into sleep and out of it again

and I'm tired and done.

This

can't

keep

happening.

I am so tired.

Do I sleep or rest eternal?

Acts of terror are commenced to feed the hungry crowds

while decisions are deliberated in higher courts.

The queen glances down to see a soldier

slain for entertainment

and cringes.

Nor for me,

or on my account.

By the time it begins and ends,

the brief moments bring

a thunderstorm of mischievous and malicious acts that have

forever altered the kingdom to areas

no longer accessible by any.

Good night.

4/20/17

Boss Fight

He brushed my hair out of my face sweetly and told me everything would be ok. We drove along the coast for months, only stopping when we were out of breath and blamed it on suffocation rather than inspect it closer. We collided together each time with a ferocity we both knew would fade overtime, only due to the fact that we were getting older and too tired too work this hard for a relationship. We both took solace in inviting another to turn out the holes left from past lovers and hope that the other could grow something out of the fresh soil. Eventually it caught up to us, and we grew tired, and bored? We fought over big and little things at every turn. Feelings were hurt, trusts broken, all over what? speculation? misunderstanding? The reunions became less joyous and more armor laden. Hoping the few days apart made us stronger and wiser and able to protect ourselves more during the onslaught from our lover. It was a constant barrage of painful words and memories. Stuck on repeat.
Now, he brushes my hair out of my face annoyedly, "sweetie, your hair is in your face" he says with hurried agitation. He no longer tells me everything is going to be ok, instead replacing it with, "If we really want this, we are going to have to put in a lot of work, tell me what you think you should work on?"
I knew I should have upgraded my armor during my last level up.
I am not strong enough for this boss.