I pull the blankets up to my chin. 

The cold pierces through all the layers.

I'm shivering. 

Unsure if it's the cold air and distance between 

Our bodies

Or the ice captivated within my chest. 

It's hard to tell. 

I want to know.

My body insists i pack up and leave

To avoid any discomfort.

This is all about you.

Isn't it?

Just leave and let him come to you later.

This isn't what i wanted. 

I don't believe in love. 

I just wanted sex and company. 

I want to be free. 

I don't want to think about relationships. 

Or how to make them work.

I want to free myself from visiting the neural pathways that are now seeking to 

Have electricity surging through

Them. 

They want to be awakened like a 

Mummy in a deep sleep. 

They remember how to do this

Each time

Every time

Fighting to be the primary emotions

How is it different this time 

How can i make it different this time

I don't want to be alone

I'm so tired

Of this

Or of that

I'm still unsure

I'm cold

I want to go home

Even still

Your body lies next to me

Exhaling softly

But my love for you has changed

Already the sinews

Snap and we are one

Apart.

Please don't leave

It's only just begun.

Go eat a bag of dicks

Oohhh all this free time?! What are you gonna do?!?
Duh, the answer is simple.
You speak it and don't execute.
You haven't seen Nehemiah all week,
And i had to lie to get time to go get fucked,
By someone else at first,
Then by you in the end.
Only reason i saw you midweek.
Even though you are available as fuck.
The only thing you are committed to is yourself.
It is pretty obvious.
I'm ready to spend all my time with you.
I'm free!
And you're like nah,
But i love you and can't wait to be with you.
🙄
Are
 you
  Fucking
    Serious
😑
Same as all the rest of them rn.
Even with your generous sincerity.
Don't talk about travel and mountains and snow
Without mentioning me in it.
How fucking rude.
of course you have to take us.
What else would you do?
Cause pretty soon it'll be the four of us,
And you still think for two.
Please stop bothering me with all this joined at the hip shit
And planning for just you.
And not visiting us.
Its repulsing me.
You talk so big
And move so small.

Please
I'm not
Available.