As the tears pour down my face and onto my chest,
I rub them into my skin
to intermingle with the smell of cocoa and homemade lotion.
All I wanted was some peace
before the day started
some calm before the storm
the storm that is my life.
All I wanted
was to feel your warm chest
and the comfort of your body being next to mine
a peace I do not get rewarded with almost ever
but that instantly thaws the deepest, most frozen parts of my core
the parts I must freeze to keep going.
but before that can happen
you get up and leave
and I am left mid dethaw.
you return quickly,
but its too late
the freeze has taken over
now that your heat is gone and I am back to freezing temperatures.
I wipe the tears into my skin,
so I don't lose my only warmth
and get ready for the day
like always
ready to head into the storm.
