I pull the blankets up to my chin. 

The cold pierces through all the layers.

I'm shivering. 

Unsure if it's the cold air and distance between 

Our bodies

Or the ice captivated within my chest. 

It's hard to tell. 

I want to know.

My body insists i pack up and leave

To avoid any discomfort.

This is all about you.

Isn't it?

Just leave and let him come to you later.

This isn't what i wanted. 

I don't believe in love. 

I just wanted sex and company. 

I want to be free. 

I don't want to think about relationships. 

Or how to make them work.

I want to free myself from visiting the neural pathways that are now seeking to 

Have electricity surging through

Them. 

They want to be awakened like a 

Mummy in a deep sleep. 

They remember how to do this

Each time

Every time

Fighting to be the primary emotions

How is it different this time 

How can i make it different this time

I don't want to be alone

I'm so tired

Of this

Or of that

I'm still unsure

I'm cold

I want to go home

Even still

Your body lies next to me

Exhaling softly

But my love for you has changed

Already the sinews

Snap and we are one

Apart.

Please don't leave

It's only just begun.