When will you get it?
Why don't you get it?
He will never love you and never has,
and the only reason he came back was because
he going through a mid life crises.
You are just a part of it.
You are just a pawn.
He is moving you where and how he likes.
I have no choice on the matter,
and my thoughts are of no value.
Just get it through your thick, bruised skull.
HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU OR WANT YOU.
use it to walk away.
to take yourself out of the equation and leave him floundering.
The idea that he might get on better and have a good life after all
he has done makes me angry and sick.
It keeps me here.
Today is the day you walk right?
Today is the day you step out of the line of fire.
It's not a matter of doing better,
just escaping this life.
I will escape this life.
I have been meaning to research ways of committing suicide without pain,
I don't want to die with lots of pain or in a slow manner.
If I had a gun. That would be super.
But I don't.
It'll probably be household items.
It doesn't matter how patient, and honest, and loving
I am.
It doesn't matter what I say or do.
He doesn't understand or want to,
because he just wants me gone and doesn't love me.
So just do the man a sweet favor before you leave this world.
and let him be free.
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