"I'm a little bit of everything, wrapped into one"

"There are so many secrets ...it's those secrets that keep you along." Little fires Everywhere, 

I used to tell men they didn't love me
in response to their "I Love yous"
It was an automatic response 
I always thought it had to do with them
not ever being able to love me right
or in a real way. 
And i was right!
How can anyone love me, if they don't know the true me?
It was me
that was hiding, in all those blankets, and pages, and bathrooms, 
hiding, all the time.
I never let any person know the true me,
mostly out of fear
and then from judgement. 

You are the only one.

My only one. 

The only one I let near without any fear. 

You are my rock

my refuge

my fire. 

I feel nothing but love and the buds of my being opening up to your warmth. 

I know in your hands I can grow, 

as tall and colorful and loud as I want, 

Blowing to and fro, without any consequence,

and you will always keep holding me with all the warmth

and joy and pleasure, 

and keep watering me, 

and grounding me,

and lighting me, 

and enjoying my growth and beauty. 

you are my only one

thee only one

and I never want to be apart from you again.

even now, 

my chest glows with the most vibrant heat and light, 

that are only existing within me 

because of you.