Because of how dramatic I have been for the last few weeks.
Ohhhh shit, man.
It does hurt a lot, and is the craziest thing that has ever happened to me.
But that makes me laugh harder.
Cause it was a first for me.
David and I had issues, but it was never anything as high or low as us.
I loved you with my entire heart, unlike anything I ever felt, and it swept me away.
I am so glad this is happening to me at 26 and not earlier in life,
I can only imagine the range of affect.
Just having regular boyfriends was hard enough.
The timing in my life is absolutely disturbing and crazy, and most likely my fault but sucks none the less. I just do not know how people do this, or learn to care a little less to make it easier next time.
I think about how I feel right now and how low and sad and absolutely depressed I feel and and how I must look to the outside world, and I just laugh to myself.
How sad to have a world full of broken hearts and sad people like this, over such silliness.
I mean, I don't think love is silly, but feeling so shit in life when it is so long and wonderful=very silly.
It is very disappointing and heartbreaking to lose a love in life. No way around that one.
I just think about how silly I must look.
buuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhhhhhh
haha
Oy vey.
Miss him. Love him. Love our times together. What else can I do?
Keep walking and enjoying life. Can do. Sad that the way this all has unfolded is making me feel more and more as each day passes that this was a terrible and horrible relationship. Although I never felt that and haven't until the last few days while trying to understand this. And I keep thinking in your shoes, and feeling really awful. And I can understand all this if it really felt that awful.
But I know for a fact it didn't. We laughed every single day together. Rain or shine.
I think this is just the natural order of distance and break-ups and winter.
I would love to complain about it. But no time left.
I hear of some people staying in this funk for life, or years, or months.
I just couldn't imagine feeling this way much longer.
I need to do better than this.
Life isn't fair. Get over it. Appreciate the time you had with him.
Haha, I talk about him every post. I can't imagine it will end for a while.
But I will do this and get better and keep movin'. Easy to do if you think of it as just being awful,
Impossible if I keep thinking of it my way, a dream come true all the time and sometimes bat-shit crazy. haha oh boy.
I think I will be dancing around by next week, and singing too!
I just cannot imagine being more pathetic.
Not eating or sleeping, really not doing anything but moping.
haha
I am sooooo glad that I was more into sports and school and friends than guys when I was growing up. I would have been in some big trouble by now if I had haha.
Life rocks.
For reals though.
Comedy: +1
:)
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